I'm tired. I am having a pretty good day as far as eating, tracking and exercising everything is all good. I had a crap day at work. Some people are still 17 year old mean girls, even when they're pushing 60. I need to focus on having a new career. I want to open my own business but I am terrified of failing, of being overwhelmed and not being able to maintain my sanity. I'd settle for something new, in general, that didn't involve working with a bunch of jerks. Not everyone is a jerk, but some days I let the jerks rule. Deep Cleansing Breaths. It's been the mantra and activity of the day.
I am proud that through dealing with a crap day, rude people, and still hurting and feeling tired, I did not sabotage myself. I consider this a VICTORY!
VIVA LA GALLANT!
THANKFULS
The GREAT people I work with. They are so much cooler than the crap ones
My friendship with fitness, it's pretty strong
My ability to fake bravery and strength, when I'm not feeling it, but can still manage to show it on the outside
Being resilient: Go ahead, be an asshole, it just makes my light shine brighter!
Pierogie's. CARB ON CARB ACTION. Heavenly
Until tomorrow, I wish all of you peace, love, comfort and health.
xoxo Gallant
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Vitamin D
I can't believe it's been 5 days since I last blogged! I promised myself to get back on track starting today, and so far I'm doing a pretty good job of it!
A few things I've realized work against me if I don't make sure they happen...
Making my lunch and breakfast everyday. If I rely on whatever is availiable and at hand, I never really make great choices, and I still have major issues with portion control. And you know what kills me about those bad choices? 99% of time, they're really not worth it. Certain things are worth it, good quality delicious food that I love, well at least I'm enjoying on the way down...But some lame ass half dried bagel from work worth 13 points?! SO not worth it.
I have not been to a meeting in 3 weeks, first it was vacation, then I was busy with a cake order, then I was on my period, excuses excuses. Who am I hurting when I avoid these things?? MYSELF. And I decided that I wasn't going to to that this year. I PROMISED myself that I wouldn't do that anymore.
So here I go, back to being awesome.
I got a diagnosis finally today with all my joint pain, thank God, especially today, has been really hard. My body is really hurting bad today. SO, I have a vitamin D deficiency, which causes joint pain and depression. So I am hopeful that I'll be feeling better all around soon enough. My doctor told me a normal, but absolute lowest level your vitamin D should be at is a 30. Mine is at a 9 !!! No wonder I feel so awful! So I have a script for mega vitamin, that I'll be taking for 2 months. I want a trip to the bahama's, dr's orders, but my bank account says otherwise.
On a positive note, I have pushed through the pain and have not missed a workout yet. I have also started tracking again. Yay me!
That's all for tonight, I'm going to ice my achy joints, and have sweet dreams of feeling better soon.
LOVE LOVE LOVE you ladies!
xoxo - Gallant
A few things I've realized work against me if I don't make sure they happen...
Making my lunch and breakfast everyday. If I rely on whatever is availiable and at hand, I never really make great choices, and I still have major issues with portion control. And you know what kills me about those bad choices? 99% of time, they're really not worth it. Certain things are worth it, good quality delicious food that I love, well at least I'm enjoying on the way down...But some lame ass half dried bagel from work worth 13 points?! SO not worth it.
I have not been to a meeting in 3 weeks, first it was vacation, then I was busy with a cake order, then I was on my period, excuses excuses. Who am I hurting when I avoid these things?? MYSELF. And I decided that I wasn't going to to that this year. I PROMISED myself that I wouldn't do that anymore.
So here I go, back to being awesome.
I got a diagnosis finally today with all my joint pain, thank God, especially today, has been really hard. My body is really hurting bad today. SO, I have a vitamin D deficiency, which causes joint pain and depression. So I am hopeful that I'll be feeling better all around soon enough. My doctor told me a normal, but absolute lowest level your vitamin D should be at is a 30. Mine is at a 9 !!! No wonder I feel so awful! So I have a script for mega vitamin, that I'll be taking for 2 months. I want a trip to the bahama's, dr's orders, but my bank account says otherwise.
On a positive note, I have pushed through the pain and have not missed a workout yet. I have also started tracking again. Yay me!
That's all for tonight, I'm going to ice my achy joints, and have sweet dreams of feeling better soon.
LOVE LOVE LOVE you ladies!
xoxo - Gallant
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Dang it!
So today my doctor called me back with my test results, and I didn't get the call in time, by the time I did call back, the office was closed!!! DANG IT! Tomorrow I'll find out. I'm really hoping it's a vitamin deficiency.
Tonight, I went to bootcamp, and I was really difficult. I am having a lot of pain, but I got through it with modifying almost all of it. I hate to modify. I want to do it all.
I did good with my eating, I stayed mindful. Really, this year is about learning why I eat, why I eat what I eat, putting myself first, and BEING MINDFUL.
Tomorrow, will be a great day. Because I will make it great.
Nighty Night Ladies, I am so thankful for all of you, for your positive words, your love, your inspiration by just being your wonderful selves!
THANKFULS
Pulling through a workout, even though I wanted to give up, multiple times
My fitness coach, for always believing in me
My doggie Jones, even though he's being a wild animal tonight. Sometimes I feel like I'm living with a 6 month old polar bear.
YOU, yes, YOU!!!
Modern Family, makes me laugh so hard
xoxo - Gallant
Tonight, I went to bootcamp, and I was really difficult. I am having a lot of pain, but I got through it with modifying almost all of it. I hate to modify. I want to do it all.
I did good with my eating, I stayed mindful. Really, this year is about learning why I eat, why I eat what I eat, putting myself first, and BEING MINDFUL.
Tomorrow, will be a great day. Because I will make it great.
Nighty Night Ladies, I am so thankful for all of you, for your positive words, your love, your inspiration by just being your wonderful selves!
THANKFULS
Pulling through a workout, even though I wanted to give up, multiple times
My fitness coach, for always believing in me
My doggie Jones, even though he's being a wild animal tonight. Sometimes I feel like I'm living with a 6 month old polar bear.
YOU, yes, YOU!!!
Modern Family, makes me laugh so hard
xoxo - Gallant
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
not awful, not great
Hello!
So, I've been having a hard week. I've been tracking what I am eating, and I have been excerising, but my eating hasn't been great. Not awful, but NOT great. I've been having a lot of joint pain this week, I went to the Dr yesterday and had some blood work done, hopefully that'll explain these pains. My hands are cramping as I type. So this will be short and sweet.
I am thankful that I am still mindful, and haven't given up on myself, which I normally would have done at this point.
I will have a better week, starting tomorrow.
I love you ladies, so very much!!
xoxo
Gallant
So, I've been having a hard week. I've been tracking what I am eating, and I have been excerising, but my eating hasn't been great. Not awful, but NOT great. I've been having a lot of joint pain this week, I went to the Dr yesterday and had some blood work done, hopefully that'll explain these pains. My hands are cramping as I type. So this will be short and sweet.
I am thankful that I am still mindful, and haven't given up on myself, which I normally would have done at this point.
I will have a better week, starting tomorrow.
I love you ladies, so very much!!
xoxo
Gallant
Thursday, March 17, 2011
RELIEF
So I missed bootcamp last night because I was at a stupid meeting at work that ran so late, I couldn't make it : / LAME!
I did go to spinning tonight, and I worked hard. My body has been really aching lately. Mostly in my joints and feet which has me a little worried. I'm thinking I should make an appointment with my doctor. I want to say it was my old shoes, but wrists and hands have been in a lot of pain too...DOUBLE LAME!
On to the best news EVER, the lead up is something I haven't mentioned all week because I was afraid if I said something, I'd jinx it or something...
My nephew who is surviving cancer, just recently started his recovery process. He went through a year of brutal Chemo and Radiation, a bone marrow transplant, operations to remove tumors, and anti-body treatments. (he had nueroblastoma, a form of bone marrow cancer) This little man, all of 7 years old, has been through the ringer. Anyway, last Friday he was showing symptoms that the cancer had returned. Primarily, some lesions on his legs, and he was limping. Which were the first signs before he was diagnosed. We were praying, hoping, wishing, praying, praying, praying, that his test results would come up negative...AND THEY DID! After his results came back, of course my sister in law was relieved to the point of some serious emotional tears, and that's when my niece decided she had a confession to make...
My nephew made her promise not to tell mom...They were outside playing, rough housing around with the dog, the dog had a big stick and accidentally close-lined my nephew. He was so afraid to be in trouble, and more importantly to have his bff (the dog) get in trouble, he made his sister promise not to tell...so his limping and leg injuries, were caused by being a kid, not cancer.
OH MY LORD!! I feel like a weight has lifted off of me and I can let go of some massive stress I was carrying around. And can't stop getting weepy every five minutes today.
anyway, that's all for me tonight, I tried to focus on myself through fitness this week, because it keeps me sane, but food, well, it's still the thing I turn to when I'm sad. I will conquer this. I WILL.
xoxo Ladies. Love you all to bits!
-Gallant
I did go to spinning tonight, and I worked hard. My body has been really aching lately. Mostly in my joints and feet which has me a little worried. I'm thinking I should make an appointment with my doctor. I want to say it was my old shoes, but wrists and hands have been in a lot of pain too...DOUBLE LAME!
On to the best news EVER, the lead up is something I haven't mentioned all week because I was afraid if I said something, I'd jinx it or something...
My nephew who is surviving cancer, just recently started his recovery process. He went through a year of brutal Chemo and Radiation, a bone marrow transplant, operations to remove tumors, and anti-body treatments. (he had nueroblastoma, a form of bone marrow cancer) This little man, all of 7 years old, has been through the ringer. Anyway, last Friday he was showing symptoms that the cancer had returned. Primarily, some lesions on his legs, and he was limping. Which were the first signs before he was diagnosed. We were praying, hoping, wishing, praying, praying, praying, that his test results would come up negative...AND THEY DID! After his results came back, of course my sister in law was relieved to the point of some serious emotional tears, and that's when my niece decided she had a confession to make...
My nephew made her promise not to tell mom...They were outside playing, rough housing around with the dog, the dog had a big stick and accidentally close-lined my nephew. He was so afraid to be in trouble, and more importantly to have his bff (the dog) get in trouble, he made his sister promise not to tell...so his limping and leg injuries, were caused by being a kid, not cancer.
OH MY LORD!! I feel like a weight has lifted off of me and I can let go of some massive stress I was carrying around. And can't stop getting weepy every five minutes today.
anyway, that's all for me tonight, I tried to focus on myself through fitness this week, because it keeps me sane, but food, well, it's still the thing I turn to when I'm sad. I will conquer this. I WILL.
xoxo Ladies. Love you all to bits!
-Gallant
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
There is NO other option
My legs are KILLING me today. Bootcamp, followed by spinning...for goodness sakes, I'm surprised they haven't fallen off this week. My feet have been really bothering me, they've been cramping a lot while I exercise. I'm hoping it's because my shoes were beat up so I went out and bought some new ones tonight. I HATE fitness shoes. Why are they all so stupid looking? I don't wear silver/neon ANYTHING, why is it so hard to find anything that doesn't look like Transformer action figures for your feet? Booooo. I found a pair that didn't make me gag, and feel good on, tomorrow is bootcamp again, so we shall see....
I've been tracking again, for the last two days. I'm not really feeling it, but I also don't feel like I have another option, besides giving up, staying the same size, or worse, getting fatter.
I think the hardest part is the realization that this is going to be a LONG process. That I will not always lose 2 lbs a week. That nothing else will work for me, there is no miracle diet where I will lose a ton of weight quickly and keep off, and not feel deprived. I need to change my attitude. I need to get the fuck over it, and just push through. Because there is NO OTHER OPTION.
So for tomorrow
I've been tracking again, for the last two days. I'm not really feeling it, but I also don't feel like I have another option, besides giving up, staying the same size, or worse, getting fatter.
I think the hardest part is the realization that this is going to be a LONG process. That I will not always lose 2 lbs a week. That nothing else will work for me, there is no miracle diet where I will lose a ton of weight quickly and keep off, and not feel deprived. I need to change my attitude. I need to get the fuck over it, and just push through. Because there is NO OTHER OPTION.
So for tomorrow
- Track
- Exercise
- Remind myself all day, it sucks to be fat, it's awesome to buy smaller clothes.
- Friends. Mine are the best people on earth
- Being an aunt, and not being a mother right now. I'm okay with it.
- Two arms and two legs. It would suck not to have them.
- Biggest Loser. WOW, those folks are so inspiring!
- Not living in fear like the Japanese right now. My heart is broken for them. I cannot comprehend what they are going through. Honestly, my problems are lame in comparison.
Monday, March 14, 2011
She's back, and she's tired!
Back to work, back to working out, back to tracking. I'm tired!
I had a really great time in the Cape with my friends, it was a long weekend of eating, drinking, and laughing until I was crying.
This week I have a goal of getting back on track. 100%. Tracking, staying within my points, and exercising. Even though I've some successes I have a long road ahead of me. I'd really like to speed it up a little...I know slow and steady wins the race, but I really want some big weight loss numbers this month.
I really need to refocus and recommit to myself.
SO here it goes...
I will exercise 5 days this week. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday.
I will track every day this week.
I will weigh in on Saturday
I will have lost at least 2 lbs.
xoxo Ladies!!
I had a really great time in the Cape with my friends, it was a long weekend of eating, drinking, and laughing until I was crying.
This week I have a goal of getting back on track. 100%. Tracking, staying within my points, and exercising. Even though I've some successes I have a long road ahead of me. I'd really like to speed it up a little...I know slow and steady wins the race, but I really want some big weight loss numbers this month.
I really need to refocus and recommit to myself.
SO here it goes...
I will exercise 5 days this week. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday.
I will track every day this week.
I will weigh in on Saturday
I will have lost at least 2 lbs.
xoxo Ladies!!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Wipe Out Town
I'm headed to Wipe Out Town pretty soon, I am just so exhausted tonight! This week has been stressful and really tiring...which means I've done a crap job of tracking what I eat. I need to figure out a strategy of being mindful, when I feel like I am losing my mind...Does that make sense?
Do any of you write down what you're eating all day long? Like, after eating a meal, you write it down immediately? Or do you do it all at once? I think the part that I am failing with lately is that I'm waiting till the end of the day, which I've always done, but it might not be the best when I've been running around all day going crazy. I'm just so damn beat by the time I finally sit down, which is usually around now, 9:00...
I'd love to hear what you ladies do that keep you check! For now, I am too tired to write anything more, my eyes are starting to cross!!
So much loves to all of you sisters! I don't know where I'd be without you all!!!!
xoxo
Gallant
Do any of you write down what you're eating all day long? Like, after eating a meal, you write it down immediately? Or do you do it all at once? I think the part that I am failing with lately is that I'm waiting till the end of the day, which I've always done, but it might not be the best when I've been running around all day going crazy. I'm just so damn beat by the time I finally sit down, which is usually around now, 9:00...
I'd love to hear what you ladies do that keep you check! For now, I am too tired to write anything more, my eyes are starting to cross!!
So much loves to all of you sisters! I don't know where I'd be without you all!!!!
xoxo
Gallant
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
My Friends = Cool
I am just so thankful today. Thankful for having such amazing women in my life who believe in me, when I need it most.
My best friend told me she got caught up on my blog today. Which really touched me that she is reading it...I am so completely close to her, and it feels so great that she is even a part of this. She is beautiful and inspirational everyday. I love her too much!
Which makes me think of something the ever wise JenWa said, "I think about my friends and how much I love and adore them. How fun and funny and beautiful and smart and just amazing they are. And then I can't help but think that they chose to be friends with me, so that must mean that I am pretty great, too."
The Universe brings like minded totally cool people together, and I am blessed to be part of it.
So, today I ate too many cookies. Not like all out binged, just ate more than I should have. BUT my breakfast, lunch and dinner were pretty good. I still need to track, which I usually do at the end of the night, I wish I could do it throughout the day, it's just not possible, yet.
I went to spinning tonight, which was so much fun. I just love that class and the ladies I share it with. Sadly, I won't be there on Thursday, I've got to pack and cook for my weekend vacation, with my besties, that I am TOTALLY stoked for!! We're going to Cape Cod, and I'm really hoping that it's at least a tiny bit warm and nice out so that we can walk on the beach...my favorite :)
My Intention for tomorrow:
"I am one of the people that I love most"
5 Thankfuls
My nephew Zach, is going to DisneyWorld, his 'Make a Wish Foundation' wish. He is 7 years old, and SURVIVING cancer. MY HERO!
The love of my bestie. I am thankful for her love everyday.
Being able to afford bootcamp. Nothing beats working out with my dear friend Christina!!!
Going to the Cape this weekend, with 10 people I love SO dearly.
My friend Matt who is watching my baby Jones while we're away.
xoxo ladies, love you sooooooooo much!
Gallant
My best friend told me she got caught up on my blog today. Which really touched me that she is reading it...I am so completely close to her, and it feels so great that she is even a part of this. She is beautiful and inspirational everyday. I love her too much!
Which makes me think of something the ever wise JenWa said, "I think about my friends and how much I love and adore them. How fun and funny and beautiful and smart and just amazing they are. And then I can't help but think that they chose to be friends with me, so that must mean that I am pretty great, too."
The Universe brings like minded totally cool people together, and I am blessed to be part of it.
So, today I ate too many cookies. Not like all out binged, just ate more than I should have. BUT my breakfast, lunch and dinner were pretty good. I still need to track, which I usually do at the end of the night, I wish I could do it throughout the day, it's just not possible, yet.
I went to spinning tonight, which was so much fun. I just love that class and the ladies I share it with. Sadly, I won't be there on Thursday, I've got to pack and cook for my weekend vacation, with my besties, that I am TOTALLY stoked for!! We're going to Cape Cod, and I'm really hoping that it's at least a tiny bit warm and nice out so that we can walk on the beach...my favorite :)
My Intention for tomorrow:
"I am one of the people that I love most"
5 Thankfuls
My nephew Zach, is going to DisneyWorld, his 'Make a Wish Foundation' wish. He is 7 years old, and SURVIVING cancer. MY HERO!
The love of my bestie. I am thankful for her love everyday.
Being able to afford bootcamp. Nothing beats working out with my dear friend Christina!!!
Going to the Cape this weekend, with 10 people I love SO dearly.
My friend Matt who is watching my baby Jones while we're away.
xoxo ladies, love you sooooooooo much!
Gallant
Monday, March 7, 2011
SAMOAS have 2 points...
Oh, Samoa cookies, why do I love them so much??? And why doesn't my husband like them so I'd have someone to share them with? And WHY do I know so many Girl Scouts that I feel obligated to buy cookies from?!
SO I woke up from a fog today, a fog where I was not tracking, and not realizing it...What?! I didn't even make the concious choice to not track, I just didn't...
Not good, guesstimating is okay for a day, but not for nearly a week. I need to get back into the habit of being mindful and real about what I am eating and why I am eating it. I know that when I feel overwhelmed by others things, I let myself down first. NEVER letting down anyone else. So why is this an option for me? Why do I constantly let myself down and try so hard not to let down others?
My self worth is sadly not where it should be. All I ever do is focus on what could be better about myself, how nothing is quite right. My weight, my beauty, my hair, my temper, being a friend, a wife, a momma to Jones, a coworker, I do not aknowledge that I am good at any of them. All I ever do is focus on my short comings, that I'm too fat, too selfish, or that my nose is too big. Why is it so hard for me to really appreciate myself? Is it because I was raised by the most modest people I have ever met, who drove into me that any form of self appraisal was rude and unattractive, and quite frankly, not true, because, honestly, who the fuck do I think I am????
WOW.
I need to crack this code, and I need to put more effort into this. To know my worth, to be happy and proud as I am. To not constantly focus on what I am NOT.
How did I get from Samoas cookies to this?!
I always say, I LOVE TO LOVE! Well, it's time I turn some of that onto myself. I need some new intentions, that involve ME.
Tomorrow
I will track everything
I will find some new intentions, for just me :)
I will go to Spinning
I will focus on going on a mini vacation this coming weekend.
I will not let stupid ignorant arrogant old men turn my day to shit (yes, that's what happend today)
THANKFULS
For YOU!
Coffee, my life blood
Money, it's SO cool not freak out about how I'm going to keep my house right now!
My bff, who snapped at me the other day, and appolgised for it. I love the honesty we have.
My husband, who stayed on the phone with me tonight, I was driving home, and the moon looked so cool, I called him to tell him to go look at it, he stayed on the phone with me till he found it...I love him so very much.
SO I woke up from a fog today, a fog where I was not tracking, and not realizing it...What?! I didn't even make the concious choice to not track, I just didn't...
Not good, guesstimating is okay for a day, but not for nearly a week. I need to get back into the habit of being mindful and real about what I am eating and why I am eating it. I know that when I feel overwhelmed by others things, I let myself down first. NEVER letting down anyone else. So why is this an option for me? Why do I constantly let myself down and try so hard not to let down others?
My self worth is sadly not where it should be. All I ever do is focus on what could be better about myself, how nothing is quite right. My weight, my beauty, my hair, my temper, being a friend, a wife, a momma to Jones, a coworker, I do not aknowledge that I am good at any of them. All I ever do is focus on my short comings, that I'm too fat, too selfish, or that my nose is too big. Why is it so hard for me to really appreciate myself? Is it because I was raised by the most modest people I have ever met, who drove into me that any form of self appraisal was rude and unattractive, and quite frankly, not true, because, honestly, who the fuck do I think I am????
WOW.
I need to crack this code, and I need to put more effort into this. To know my worth, to be happy and proud as I am. To not constantly focus on what I am NOT.
How did I get from Samoas cookies to this?!
I always say, I LOVE TO LOVE! Well, it's time I turn some of that onto myself. I need some new intentions, that involve ME.
Tomorrow
I will track everything
I will find some new intentions, for just me :)
I will go to Spinning
I will focus on going on a mini vacation this coming weekend.
I will not let stupid ignorant arrogant old men turn my day to shit (yes, that's what happend today)
THANKFULS
For YOU!
Coffee, my life blood
Money, it's SO cool not freak out about how I'm going to keep my house right now!
My bff, who snapped at me the other day, and appolgised for it. I love the honesty we have.
My husband, who stayed on the phone with me tonight, I was driving home, and the moon looked so cool, I called him to tell him to go look at it, he stayed on the phone with me till he found it...I love him so very much.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
I want to be SKINNY dammit!
I had another great work out today, and another day of eating so-so. I finally tracked again today. I realized i hadn't in 3 days...how does that happen? I get busy? I don't want to sub-consciously? I think I've got it all under control? Who knows.
What I do know is that I tracked at least in my head, which is not the same thing at all, but at least I was mindful and reasonable. I want to be skinny dammit! I have NEVER been skinny. I want people to refer to me as thin. I want to jump for joy and not feel things wobble around me (my stomach, my thighs, etc)
So I will be weighing in this Saturday and I'm nervous as HECK.
Also, I figured since I'm keeping my part time job, even with my hubby being employed and all, that my salary there can pay for bootcamp! Yay! I'm going to sign up for 3 months :)
So Cheers to you my FT sisters, I would not be the girl I am today without you, I value all of you, more than you know!!
xoxo - Gallant
Thankfuls
My home, that I've managed to keep, even with all the $$$$ hardships
My sister, she is more than I ever have her credit for when we were little
My husband, for loving me, every single day
My Jonesy, my sweet little doggie, who teaches me to appreciate the little things in life
My FT SISTERS! You are all a blessing to me. Thank you for being on this difficult journey with me <3
What I do know is that I tracked at least in my head, which is not the same thing at all, but at least I was mindful and reasonable. I want to be skinny dammit! I have NEVER been skinny. I want people to refer to me as thin. I want to jump for joy and not feel things wobble around me (my stomach, my thighs, etc)
So I will be weighing in this Saturday and I'm nervous as HECK.
Also, I figured since I'm keeping my part time job, even with my hubby being employed and all, that my salary there can pay for bootcamp! Yay! I'm going to sign up for 3 months :)
So Cheers to you my FT sisters, I would not be the girl I am today without you, I value all of you, more than you know!!
xoxo - Gallant
Thankfuls
My home, that I've managed to keep, even with all the $$$$ hardships
My sister, she is more than I ever have her credit for when we were little
My husband, for loving me, every single day
My Jonesy, my sweet little doggie, who teaches me to appreciate the little things in life
My FT SISTERS! You are all a blessing to me. Thank you for being on this difficult journey with me <3
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