SKIPPING?!

So I brought the cake to work today, thank the lord!  I had a piece last night, but halfway through it, I handed it to my husband to finish it.   Everyone really enjoyed it today, so that made me happy :)  I know, I'm a total sap, but I genuinely love making people happy, because I know how good it feels to feel happy. 
Simple pleasures and the little things is what keeps me going everyday.  Today I had bootcamp, and I felt strong, EXCEPT for when they had us skip for 5 minutes, I thought I was going to go into cardiac arrest!!!  And all I could think about was; I used to do this for fun as a kid!! Skipping?!?! Since when is that hard?!  Well, when you're 33 and over weight, THAT'S when it's hard!
Anyway, I watched the Oscars last night, mainly for the gowns, I'm a total whore for gowns!!  I love girlie glamour!!  Needless to say I daydreamed all night about what MY gown would look like if I went to the Oscars...AND had my dream body.  I cannot wait until I can wear whatever I want and not be limited because of my size.  It will come soon :)
That's all for tonight....
xoxo Lovely Ladies

Gallant

THANKFULS

Getting $$$$ back for our tax returns
FINALLY catching up on all of our bills since my husbands been back to work
Bootcamp, I love working out in a community, I need the motivation
Snuggle time with my Jonesy, after my hubby leaves in the morning, my sweet doggie climbs up to snuggle in bed, it's SO CUTE!
Big Love, I love that show, LOVE IT!

A New Rule...

I will not weighing in while Aunt Flo is in town.  I have just decided this.  I was supposed to go this morning, but instead met my sister in law at a cake decorating shop to browse around.  I got some good stuff too!  I'm doing a bridal shower next month and want to try making sugar flowers so I got all the stuff to try it out.  I was going to weigh in tomorrow, or Monday, and then thought, Fuck it, I don't want to get my bloated ass weighed, I think I'll wait until my water weight won't push me over the edge.  I still am tracking everything.  Yesterday I went over my points by a lot, pizza and wine will do that...Today, I was pretty good, I did have a piece of cake though...but it was MY birthday cake, what's a girl to do?!  I'll be bringing the rest of the cake to work with me on Monday to share with my work homies, lord knows it's not safe for me in this house.  I'm the kind of girl who sees cake in fridge at 6:30 in the morning an convinces myself that it's a totally reasonable breakfast.  Cake and pizza, my kryptonite! 
The cake was for my family party with all my in laws today.  I did good with food there, my husband made me some really yummy mini veggie burgers, and I brought veggies and hummus, and that's all I ate :)  Yay me!  Oh, BESIDES the piece of chocolate, white chocolate mousse layer cake with vanilla butter cream frosting...OH LORD IT IS AMAZING!  Must get it the hell outta here, soon!
I even bit my tongue for each passive aggressive comment my mother in law gave me.  You'd think she'd give it a rest for my birthday...She thinks she can say something totally shitty to me and follow it up with a laugh, and that makes it okay.  I used to get upset, now I just feel sad for someone who doesn't know how to say how she truly feels, walking around with that much resentment is not good for the spirit!  She told everyone she had a dream about me and I was 'REALLY RUDE' to her in it, that it was so real she felt like I owed her an apology.  I replied "Wow I can't even behave appropriately in your dreams, huh?  Weird"
;)

On that note, I will be not eating for the rest of the evening, because I feel bloated from all the veggies and Aunt Flo, I will be having cocktails at a friends house tonight though, and I am more than happy to save my points for those!

xoxo Ladies!!  - Gallant

Thankfuls...

Patience with people who want to poop on my parade.
CAKE
My sister in law Cari, we used to not get along at all, now I am so thankful for the relationship I have with her.
The Red Carpet, I'm a total gown whore and the Oscars are on tomorrow :)
My niece Ashley got me a birthday card that says "Queen of All Aunts!" on the front...I made sure to show that to her other Aunts...HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

Focus on the Thankful's

I had another great work out today.  As far as workouts go, this weeks been great.  Eating, not to shabby.  I'm really praying that I have a good weigh in this week...I don't want to cry at WW, it's just so tragic. 
Work has been pretty awful, there is just way too much work to do, with just me and another girl carrying the load.  I have also been fighting with my husband all week, so that's been pretty lame.  Oh, and my Dad never called me for my birthday.  Seeing as how my Mom and I share the same birthday and he was married to her for 25 years, as well as me being his daughter for 33 years, it seems unlikely that he forgot.  He probably just wasn't into it because it wasn't about him.  WOW.  Sorry for this pity party.  I def have the Thursday night burn out!!
I need to go and try and purge all of this negativity I've got rolling around inside of me, it's not cool. 
Let's work on a list of Thankful's shall we?!

My little brother telling me he loves me most :) 
Even after a fight, the husband and I can still love each other, and tell each other so.
My sister, she is really funny, and totally great.
A memory foam mattress, it's a flippin dream!
Chocolate, dark and bitter, just like my mood today!

xoxo - Gallant

PHEW!

I have been a workout machine this week!  Here's is my schedule, just cause I feel like bragging a little bit ;)
Monday:  Bootcamp 1 hour
Tuesday:  Spinning 1 hour
Wednesday:  Bootcamp 1 hour
Thursday:  Spinning 1 hour
Friday: Off
Saturday:  Elliptical 1 hour
Sunday: Off
PHEW~  No wonder I'm so tired!  I did well with eating today, I did have a slight break down and had some french fries during lunch, not a lot though...anyway, I tracked them, and I'm still where I need to be with my points.  Yay!
I'm going to go stretch and meditate now before bed.  xoxo Ladies, reading your blogs is one of the things I look forward to most everyday :)

-Gallant

Short and Sweet-ish

I'm really tired, I probably shouldn't wait until it's so late to blog, but today was long and busy busy.
Nothing much to say, I tracked what I ate today, although I didn't do so great on my birthday weekend...No tracking, but mindful eating.  I ate ALOT of pizza on Sunday into Monday, BUT, I went to bootcamp yesterday and worked my arse off, then went to spinning tonight.  So far this week I've added 65 activity points to my tracker.  I am focused and dedicated to see a loss this week.   My trainer also took my measurements yesterday, so in a month, I'll have something to report about that.
So yeah, yesterday was my actual b-day, and I went to bootcamp and had my measurements taken...if that doesn't say "life change"  I don't know what does!!

Until tomorrow ladies...
xoxo Gallant

5 thankfuls

Amazing friends
Strength
Feeling Calm
Hot Baths
My Momma

BEST.WEEKEND.EVER.

I am So thankful today.  I had such a great weekend!!  Friday night, tapas and drinks with Alisa and Flavia.  Saturday lame ass weigh in, but went to the gym, THEN, went out for yummmmmmy sushi with hubby, besties and other lovely friends, then came back home to be surprised with a cake and more presents :)  THEN tonight after work, I went had delicious pizza with more Alisa and Flavia, plus their cute kids, PLUS more lovely friends, and Tony, my brotha from another Motha :)  I cannot tell you how happy I am to have so many amazing people in my life who care to party with me for my b-day.  It's just SO cool!
One of my gifts was a gift certificate to my favorite bootcamp, so hopefully I can continue it next month :)
And to all the ladies that suggested tracking measurements, I haven't yet, but my trainer is going to start it for me tomorrow, just during bootcamp, but at least it'll give me a gage...

Until tomorrow!

xoxoxoxo Gallant

WTF

So, I gained another .2 lbs this week.  WTF?  Again, not a perfect week, but I still tracked, still exercised 4 times, and never even went in to my activity points.   I cannot tell you how bummed out and upset I am over this.  I feel like such a failure today.  I sat in the WW meeting, fighting back tears, not even listening to the meeting, I was just absorbed with upset. 
The good news is that instead of walking out and going to stuff my face with bad food, I walked out and went to the gym.  I worked my ass off, I was like an anorexic in an after-school special...
I'm having a lot of anxiety for this weekend now...It's my birthday on Monday, and of course everything is revolving around food.  Last night I went for Tapas and drinks with Alisa and our dear friend Flavia.  It was such a great time, and I think that I made pretty decent choice considering we were at a restaurant.  It helps when all the plates were tiny and you're sharing everything.  Tonight I'm going for sushi with my bestie, and that should be an okay reasonable meal as well, tomorrow on the other hand, I'm going for pizza.  Yes, pizza, my love of all loves...So this is what I'll do.  I'll eat lots of fruit and veggies, some egg whites in the morning, so that I have plenty of points that I don't totally blow it.
I really need a loss next week, even if it's just the .4 that I've gained over the last two weeks.
I'm going to go soak my tired body in a hot bath, read, stretch, and then get ready for dinner tonight.
Till tomorrow...
xoxo Gallant

OH, and I AM THANKFUL TO HAVE LADIES LIKE YOU IN MY CORNER.   WITHOUT YOU, I WOULD HAVE SAID FUCK IT BY NOW. ;)

I'm gonna feel that tomorrow!

Oh LORDY I am sore.  The Pilates, the spinning, the bootcamp, my body feels like one bog sore cramp.  I've been working out like a maniac this week, pushing myself more than usual.  Probably because I am terrified of another bad weigh in.  Lord help me.  I need a -# that makes me feel good.
Today was an okay day.  I made the most of my day by making sure I was around people at work who make make me laugh, and make me feel appreciated.  I'm going to try to still send those I don't care for love and happiness, but I'd still like to keep a bit of distance, ya know?!?!
Bootcamp was really really really hard tonight.  I felt week, I can't do a lot of the exercises I was able to do this summer.  Hopefully I can get it back soon.  I also thought it was discounted for more than a month, but it's not.  Boo!  After this I might have to try some of the classes at the gym, but the ones I have tried were a joke.  I should really give them all a chance before writing them off. 

On that note...
I will plan ahead and choose the classes I will try when bootcamp is over.
I will track my food and continue to be honest about it.  "Just one bites" count!
I will be kind to people I don't care for

thankful
for having a body that can move and is capable.
for having people appreciate me for me
veggie hot dogs, only 3 points with the bun :)
Jonesy.  No one has ever been so flippin happy to see me everyday
Jonesy.  No one has ever been so sad to see me go every morning ;)

xoxoxoxoxxoxo!!!  -Gallant

Honestly, April...

I've signed up for a 16 week bootcamp!  I've done it before, and it was really great.  It's honestly the hardest workout I've ever had to do, it's so intense!  I know however, that I do best in class/group atmosphere's I'm not competetive at all, but I refuse to give up and feel shamed in front of people, so that's what drives me through the grueling workout.  Last time I did this I lost 4 inches in my waist, but lost NO WEIGHT.  I thought I was eating okay, but guess what?!  I WASN'T!  Not even close!  I owe this new found knowledge to WW, even though some days I have a love hate relationship with WW.   Speaking of WW, I'll be changing my weigh in/meeting day to Fridays.  Wednesday I'll be busy getting my booty to bootcamp ;)
I went to spin tonight, did a great pilates workout with my bestie yesterday, and I'll be working out again tomorrow.  I love feeling strong, and non jiggly.  My birthday is next Monday, and I'm facing an entire weekend of eating and drinking.  This is going to be hard.  BUT, I'm committed to being mindful and honest about what I'm eating, I may not be perfect, and I may go over my points, but I will hold myself accountable for it.  I'm really starting to believe that this is the key to success, being honest. 
That's it for me tonight.  LOVE LOVE LOVE you ladies.

5 Thankfuls
My second job is paying for bootcamp.  COOL.
Being raised by hippie parents, they taught me love, honesty, tolerance, and forgiveness is all you really need.
The song Silver Springs.  I know, I know, it came from the hippie parents, but this is one of my favorite all time songs, and is one of the ones I sing at the top of my lungs.
I baked cookies for my work Valentines, and got 3 marriage proposals ;)
A sense of humor.  Being mad one minute and being able to laugh at a joke the next, makes my days good.  Or makes me bi-polar...whatever, if it means shaking a bad mood quickly, I'm cool with it.

WORK IT

So I work.  A lot.  Too much.  I am so scared of my husband being laid off again, I won't quit my second job, but I'm really starting to burn out.  For those of you who don't know, my husband was laid off for 14 months, he's been back to work for 2 months, and I pray everyday that it lasts a long time.  I really don't want to go back to a life of fearing that we won't have enough money for heat, electricity, much less to keep our house.  BLAH, BE GONE BAD THOUGHTS!!!
Anyway, about working a lot, I'm just tired, and I want a break.  But, I am thankful for my second job, because it's pretty great, as far as second jobs go...
I've had a good weekend, as far as eating goes, I stayed on track, tracking everything that is.  The dinner I had Friday night, I split up into two meals, I had the rest of it tonight.  Mind you, this is huge, because the old April would've wolfed all of it down in one sitting.  The new April stopped eating eating when she was full.  EUREKA!
Tomorrow, I'm planning on doing a Valentines workout with my Bestie, who I usually spend Valentines with, along with my hubby, because her hubby is in the restaurant business and is always working for holidays.  So we spend them together.
Tomorrow, I will make great choices, I will be active, and I will work, because it brings me a much needed paycheck!

My 5 Thankfuls...
1.  The Grammy's; I'm an awards show whore!
2.  My meditation room, yeah, I got one in my house, SO cool!!
3.  Knowing that treating people the way I want to be treated, is really the best way to be.  Thanks Momma!
4.  Cyndi Lauper.  I dressed as her 3 years in a row for Halloween when I was little, just because I wanted a reason to tear my tights, wear fingerless gloves and dye my hair, when I was 8.
5.  Music.  I sing at the top of my lungs when making dinner, and my husband thinks it's cool : )

So much love to you ladies.  I am Thankful for YOU everyday!!! xoxoxo -Gallant

Appreciation

I went out to eat tonight, first time since WW, first time in a LONG time really.  We never go out to eat, I love to, we just can't really afford it often.  And honestly, being a vegetarian who likes to cook, I usually like my food better than the lame ass choices I have at most restaurants.  My hubby isn't really into Asian foods, and I love them cause they're so yummy, but also because I have such a large selection to choose from, instead of a lame ass veggie burger.  But he was a good sport and we went for Thai, which just might be my favorite of the Asian cuisines.  I was good and didn't get the Drunken Noodles, because I have no control when I eat those, at least not yet, they're just some flippin amazing.  I had papaya salad and yellow Curry.  I ate half the curry and all of my salad.  I feel pretty good about my choices, and also planned ahead today and ate little points so that I could enjoy myself with out feeling guilty.
Tomorrow, I am going to Yoga, and then I'd like to go to the gym, and get some cardio in, but that might be stretching it...we'll see. I've got to organize my clothes.  I bought a new dresser, and I'm now blessed with 6 more drawers than I had before.  SO exciting!!
Today was a good day at work, because I made it a good day.  I baked cupcakes for the carpenters and maintenance guys at work.  They have been busting ass all week, and really having a hard time...So I gave them each a plate of 6 with thank you cards, telling them all how much I appreciate them and everything they do.  Needless to say I got lots of hugs and smiles : ) Can't beat that!!!

So tomorrow, I wish you all beautiful days filled with nothing but fun and people who truly appreciate how wonderful you are!!

xoxo Gallant

WIPE OUT

I'm so wiped out today.  I've be carrying around too much stress from work, and need to realx, because the tension is taking it's toll. 
I just wanted to write a quick note, because I finally have a chance to hang out in a hot bathtub this evening, and I just can't pass that up.
SO, I did well with my eating, didn't stay within my points, but I did track it all.  I also went to spinning tonight and worked out some of that stress...
Tomorrow, I'm so looking forward to Friday afternoon, when I drive away from work and I don't have to go back for 2 whole days. 

Hope you ladies have a fantastic Friday :)

xoxo Gallant

the NEW goal

So I gained .2 lbs last week...Not OK.  I know, I know, it's only .2 lbs, but it's not a loss, and I only have myself to thank for that.  SO, that's what happens when I don't count everything as accuratly as I should, for not tracking AT ALL on Sunday, and for generally just being a bit of a slacker.  I am really dissapointed in myself.  What it has given me, is a NEW goal...

I WILL LOSE ANOTHER 5 lbs before my birthday, which is the 21st.  THIS is the NEW GOAL.

I've also learned something, yesterday, when I came home from work and found my garage roof collapsed, I went straight to the kitchen, and started eating chips and dip...without out even really being aware of it.  As 'after school special' as it sounds, I binge when I'm really freaked out, and I'm not even really aware of what's happening until it's half way over...All I want to do is eat when I'm upset.  Just because I don't lock myself in the bathroom while doing it, doesn't make it any less of a disorder...

The topic at WW was quite fitting for me today "Am I really hungry?"  A question I've just started to ask myself...
The leader had some good tips...Write down 10 other things I could do instead of eat when I feel like emotional eating and post it on the fridge.
I'm going to work on this list tomorrow, because I really need to crack the code on WHY I eat when I'm not hungry.  If I'm not truly hungry for food, what am I hungry for?  What does my spirit hunger for?  BTW, this is nothing new, I've been comforting myself with food for as long as I can remember.

So, all in all, just another day in the quest to figuring out my issues with food, and myself...

Until tomorrow!!
xoxo Gallant

5 Thankful Things
I snorted when I laughed today...it's totally ugly, but it also means I had a really good, genuine laugh.
Cuddling with my Jonesy puppy in the morning.  I let him sneak his 80lb butt into our bed after my husband goes to work and we get cozy.  He's like a giant alive teddy bear :)
I didn't gain .3 lbs, I guess that would be worse...
People who believe in me, even when I don't beleive in myself.
Being able to radiate love and compassion to people who may deserve otherwise...

Collapse

As in, my garage roof has collapsed under the weight of all of the snow it's accumulated...SON OF A BITCH.
My husband was able to rig it, so it's not totally down, but it's dropped a good 5 feet.  Mind you I have been telling him I was concerned about this happening for weeks now, and he kept shrugging me off as his harpy wife who is a worry wart.  Needless to say, he feels like an ass for not listening to me.  All I keep telling myself, is thank God it's our garage and not our house!
Enough of that lame topic, I have my weigh in tomorrow, I've been less than perfect this week, so we'll see what that looks like on the scale...
I'm keeping it short tonight, I'm feeling a bit stressed out and bewildered and not so in to blogging...I'll be in a better spirit tomorrow, promise ;)

Tomorrow I want to wake up early, to do some ab work and some meditation, wish me luck!

5 Thankful things

Still having a roof on my house
A mini vacation with my besties in March, yay!
Buying new smaller jeans...OH yeah, I did that yesterday!!!
Kindness of a friend/carpenter who has offered to help us with our garage roof for free
Being able to smile and be kind to people, even when I think they're stupid...

xoxo - Gallant

PHEW!

I can't believe 2 days has gone by and I haven't blogged.  This weekend was busy and hectic, and I feel like I didn't get a moment to myself...well I got a little bit on Saturday morning...
I went to yoga Saturday morning, it was so nice, but I over did it a little, and I feel really sore! 
Yesterday, was so mental busy, I forgot to track my points and blog.  Not cool.  I honestly, just didn't think about it.  I got up, went to work, ran errands, came home to a houseful of guest ready to watch the Superbowl, so I changed, got all the food ready, 'watched' the game, and then went to bed.  Phew!  It was a fun evening with friends and good times, but I am a person who needs some alone/quiet time during the weekend, and I didn't get it.  Oh well, there's always next weekend.  Although I didn't track my food, I did eat mindfully, being aware of everything I put into my face.  I did eat too much, but nothing compared to the usual bingeing that would have taken over.  So, I don't consider yesterday a total FAIL.
Today was better, work routine always gets me back into a healthy schedule.  Tomorrow I will continue to eat well, I'll go to spin, and I will pay my bills...My least favorite thing to do!!
Until tomorrow ladies!
xoxo -Gallant

5 Thankful Things

1.My husband and Father-in-laws pure JOY watching their beloved Packers win.  So great!!
2.Yoga.  It makes me feel amazing.
3. Wine.  I really love wine.
4. Friends with trucks.  I bought a dresser and my sweet friend brought it home for me today
5. Peace of Mind.  I feel relaxed in my brain today.  It's a rare feeling for me.
  

Mid Life Crisis, Anyone?

Today was better.  Today I got out of doing a 6 month project that I really didn't want to be a part of at work.  And best yet, my enemy got stuck with it instead :)~  Karma's a bitch!
Ohhh, work.  I'm really not into it.  I want to do something else, and I don't know what.  I want to go to culinary school, but I don't want to butcher animals, and I'm pretty sure that's part of it.  Then I think, pastry school, but then I feel like that is just too narrow...Then I think about opening my own place, but after about 5 minutes, the thought scares the shit out of me.  I don't know.  I just don't know!
As for food, I did good today, I even got Alisa and I some healthy, albeit, not so totally yummy snacks, but I still made a good choice for us.  It helped that I don't eat meat, and she's not eating dairy, so that narrowed the options quite a bit!  I loved spending time with her and baby Luca Joe, that little boy is a heart breaker!
So my goal for tomorrow, to really start to figure out what I truly want to do with myself.  I need to spend more time reflecting on this so that I have a goal and some direction, because career wise, I feel like I'm just floating around.
So tomorrow, I will be going to yoga, weather permitting (yeah, it's going to snow...AGAIN) I will be making food for super bowl extravaganza, and I will spend some time trying figure out what to do with myself when I grow up.

5 THANKFUL things
My Jonesy, I know I'm a weirdo, but I really love him so much.
Having any job at all.  My husband was laid off for 14 months, don't think I don't know how lucky I am to have a paycheck!
Luca Joe's smile, so flippin cute, it made my day!
For losing 10 lbs, that feels good to say.
My friends, all of them,  I am so blessed.

xoxo Sisters!! -Gallant

-10 lbs. whooot whoooot!

So I FINALLY weighed in today, after 2 weeks of missing my meetings due to the fact that I live in the Fucking North Pole...anyway, I lost 2.6lbs, which got me to official weight loss since starting of 10lbs.  Totally cool.  I'm really hoping next week will be better, since I won't be all bloated and I'll have worked out a few times instead of sitting on my ass having the flu and eating pizza.  MmmmMmmmm, pizza.  It's my crack.

I had a really bad day today.  I had to hide in a room today to calm down twice so I didn't go postal.  Not so Zen of me, I know, but between working with crazy assholes and being menstrual, well, people should be afraid.  I have a goal of being a more peaceful person, meditating more, realizing some people are awful and that I can work around it, because I am a better person.  But sometimes Ghetto Gallant comes out, and I put my hair in a ponytail, take my earrings out, and I want to throw down.  Instead of acting on that, I lock myself in a room until I can get it together, tap my third eye, awaken my peaceful spirit, and make an honest effort not to get arrested at work for physical violence. 

So my goal for tomorrow is spend a little time meditating before I go to work.  I really need to get myself to a good place before I enter that building again.

OH, and I get to see Alisa and Luca tomorrow too, and I'm so excited to smooch that little man and tell him how handsome he is :)

5 Thankful Things

1.  Good Hair.  My hair generally never lets me down.
2.  Laughter.  I love it.
3.  My sister, I love our relationship, it's gotten really cool in the last few years.
4.  People who say, Mmmmmmmmmm, after they've eaten something I've baked.  It's my favorite.
5.  Coffee.  I'm from Seattle, and I will NEVER give it up.  I love it too much.

Shit is getting REAL

In the last two weeks, with the weather being shit, and not being able to do my weigh ins and meetings due to cancellations, and not being able to go to my classes because of my flu for the last week...well...I feel like crap.
I feel dangerously close to falling off the deep end.  This is a perfect storm for me to give up, lose motivation, and fall into bad habits.  This scares the hell out of me.

Today, I am thankful for this blog, to have a way to cry for help, or at least cry "uh oh, shit is getting real, and I'm scared I won't succeed."
I am thankful for all of you, so that I can be honest and not feel judged about this crazy up and down struggle, it is so comforting to know I'm not in this alone.
I ate within my points today, I did not go to the gym, as it's not safe to drive because of ice covering the streets.
Tomorrow, I really want to be active, because not being active, makes me feel anxious and depressed.
UGGGGGG!
Tomorrow, I pray for a more positive day.

5 Gratitudes

I am grateful for my FT sisters
I am grateful for self awareness
I am grateful for my doggie, who is SO happy to see me, everytime I walk into the room he throws a party for me :)
I am grateful for all of my nieces and nephews, including my best ladies kids, who are just as dear to me as the 'official' ones ;) (Luca, Mia, baby Blanchard on the way, you make Auntie April's heart MELT)
I am grateful for forgiveness.  To myself, and to others,  Everyone deserves it in my book.

LOVES and Goodnights to you all.  xoxo - Gallant