CAN'T. STOP. EATING.
Yesterday and today I have blown through me extra weekly points. UGGGGGG. I haven't touched the my 'Activity' points yet, and I'm going to try really hard not too! I've had a weekend of back sliding and I'm not very pleased with myself. Nothing crazy, no bingeing, just snacking, snacking and more snacking. I feel lousy.
I know that my eating has some sort of emotional link, but I can't pin point it yet. I won't give up on my quest to figure it out though. This was and is my goal for the year, to crack the code with my food issues. I know a lot of it has to do with being raised with a skinny sister, and constantly being compared to her. My Mom telling me I can't have a certain food, telling me, I'm not as lucky as my sister, she can eat whatever she wants, but I have to watch my weight. Mind you I was about 10 when this started. I'm not mad or resentful with my Mom, she is a kind soul who would never have said those things if she really understood the impact of her words. But they were said, they sunk in, and I know that this is really the root of the issues I have. However, I'm still trying to figure out what triggers my need to eat things that I shouldn't, to eat too much, and then to hate myself for it. It's a really ugly cycle. Thankfully this has been the first time since I joined WW that I've felt this way.
The good news is, I spent my day off doing some things I love. I went to a very theraputic yoga class, I had brunch with my Bestie, at a delicious restaraunt, and even though I wanted the portabello eggs benedict, I ordered the veggie egg white omlette instead. :)
Today at work it was slow, and in turn I snacked WAY too much. I tracked everything, facing the awful truth.
Tomorrow I will make good choices for myself, I will look at it as a new day to right the wrongs I brought to myself this weekend, and I will excerise...because I feel guilty.
Cheers to a happy peaceful Monday my FT sistahs!
xoxo- Gallant
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
TGIFF
So I totally blew my points today. But I knew that I would, and I planned for it! Not on anything amazing mind you, I had a dinner meeting at a clients house, who also happens to be my husbands cousin. Because in addition to working two regular jobs, I'm also doing a design gig on the side, OH, and did I mention I also make cakes and treats for my own business I'm trying to start up?! Yeah, I'm kinda busy....
Anyway, I ate as well as I could earlier, staying way under my points all day, knowing that I really didn't know what dinner would be, and being my mothers daughter, you NEVER turn down a meal someone has prepared for you, especially when they took your vegetarianism in to account. So I ate pasta, bread, salad, and dessert...Luckily it was all good, and I took appropriate portions of all. Not that huge of a milestone on portion control, as I normally don't pig out in those situations, it's alone in front of the TV, or at my favorite restaurants that I have the real problem to conquer. But alas, tonight I did good, and the most important part, I tracked everything...
So I'm worn out. It's been a long grueling week, and tomorrow, my one day to sleep in I've decided to do a 10:00 am yoga class, then brunch with my good friend. I know it's something I need to do, and in the long run, I'll feel better from doing that than sleeping in and being lazy. Next week, I'll be lazy.
So until tomorrow, may you all have beautiful, healthy Saturdays :)
xoxo - Gallant
Anyway, I ate as well as I could earlier, staying way under my points all day, knowing that I really didn't know what dinner would be, and being my mothers daughter, you NEVER turn down a meal someone has prepared for you, especially when they took your vegetarianism in to account. So I ate pasta, bread, salad, and dessert...Luckily it was all good, and I took appropriate portions of all. Not that huge of a milestone on portion control, as I normally don't pig out in those situations, it's alone in front of the TV, or at my favorite restaurants that I have the real problem to conquer. But alas, tonight I did good, and the most important part, I tracked everything...
So I'm worn out. It's been a long grueling week, and tomorrow, my one day to sleep in I've decided to do a 10:00 am yoga class, then brunch with my good friend. I know it's something I need to do, and in the long run, I'll feel better from doing that than sleeping in and being lazy. Next week, I'll be lazy.
So until tomorrow, may you all have beautiful, healthy Saturdays :)
xoxo - Gallant
Thursday, January 20, 2011
CAUTION: Explicit Language
Well, here I am, sipping on a cocktail, reflecting on my day. It was a day that made me need a drink...
I will not bore you with the details of work, only that sometimes my boss is such a Fuc*&%#&$king idiot it kills me, the shit he expects, the lack of reality in his thought process, I don't know why I let it get to me. Well, I know a little, that the stupid ass decisions he makes could potentially make my life really crazy. However, work is always crazy, it is always overwhelming, and normally I just roll through it. Most of the time I can say "whatev man, I'll do what I can, and you'll give me a paycheck...no skin off my ass..." Today was not one of those days. I let it get the better of me, I got pissed off, and let it get it to me. I get so dissapointed with myself when that happens. I am a crazy emotional girl, and I am always trying to reel it in a bit! Blaaaaahhhhhhh, enough of that.
The good news, I did not reach for a bag of chips or eat a whole cake, I went to the gym and worked out ferociously to the point of near collapse. I had a nice shower, and now I'm having a cocktail. AND I'm tracking it.
I also had someone come up to me at work today and ask me if I was losing weight, that I looked good. I almost let some sarcastic response fly out of my mouth, but instead collected myself, and simply said "yes, thank you!" This is a huge deal for me, as I am horrible at recieving compliments or positive feedback of any kind, it makes me so uncomfortable!! WTF?
So tomorrow is a new day. I will drive to work in the snow, yes, more snow is coming, and I will control myself during my meeting, I will not give a flying shit what my boss says, because in the grand sceme of life, it really doesn't matter.
Good night ladies. T G I F F !!!
xoxo - Gallant
I will not bore you with the details of work, only that sometimes my boss is such a Fuc*&%#&$king idiot it kills me, the shit he expects, the lack of reality in his thought process, I don't know why I let it get to me. Well, I know a little, that the stupid ass decisions he makes could potentially make my life really crazy. However, work is always crazy, it is always overwhelming, and normally I just roll through it. Most of the time I can say "whatev man, I'll do what I can, and you'll give me a paycheck...no skin off my ass..." Today was not one of those days. I let it get the better of me, I got pissed off, and let it get it to me. I get so dissapointed with myself when that happens. I am a crazy emotional girl, and I am always trying to reel it in a bit! Blaaaaahhhhhhh, enough of that.
The good news, I did not reach for a bag of chips or eat a whole cake, I went to the gym and worked out ferociously to the point of near collapse. I had a nice shower, and now I'm having a cocktail. AND I'm tracking it.
I also had someone come up to me at work today and ask me if I was losing weight, that I looked good. I almost let some sarcastic response fly out of my mouth, but instead collected myself, and simply said "yes, thank you!" This is a huge deal for me, as I am horrible at recieving compliments or positive feedback of any kind, it makes me so uncomfortable!! WTF?
So tomorrow is a new day. I will drive to work in the snow, yes, more snow is coming, and I will control myself during my meeting, I will not give a flying shit what my boss says, because in the grand sceme of life, it really doesn't matter.
Good night ladies. T G I F F !!!
xoxo - Gallant
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
-1.2 lbs. = L.A.M.E.
Okay, so I lost 1.2lbs this week, I was not feeling hopeful for another 4 lb week, but 1.2 lbs?! F'N LAME man!
On the brighter side, I think I know what happened...
I only worked out 2 of my normal 4 days...That had to count for something right? I went to a party on Saturday night, and snacked too much. Those chips and dips, they get this over-eater every time! Other than that I was good. SOOOOO, I went to the gym after my weigh in and meeting and cycled my buns off. Actually, my buns are still there, in fact, I have pretty serious buns for a white girl. Even though I'd like them to be a bit smaller, I'm still pretty proud of it. My husband tells me I have a 'bangin' booty'...
Anywho, enough about my booty.
This week I am going to dedicate myself to a perfect week. I will exercise 4 days this week, I will do this even if it snows and I am housebound. I have a HUGE struggle working out at home, I'm a person who needs the gym, no distractions to do anything else but exercise. I need to figure this one out and stick to it.
I'm trying really hard not to be down on myself about this low number, I mean, after all, I still lost something, I just really wish it was more.
I cannot wait to feel more comfortable with my physical self. I want this so bad. I'm so sick of being fat and ashamed.
Tomorrow, I will have another successful day. I will eat mindfully, and I will exercise and work hard to get the body I dream of.
Love to all of you ladies!!
xoxo - Gallant
On the brighter side, I think I know what happened...
I only worked out 2 of my normal 4 days...That had to count for something right? I went to a party on Saturday night, and snacked too much. Those chips and dips, they get this over-eater every time! Other than that I was good. SOOOOO, I went to the gym after my weigh in and meeting and cycled my buns off. Actually, my buns are still there, in fact, I have pretty serious buns for a white girl. Even though I'd like them to be a bit smaller, I'm still pretty proud of it. My husband tells me I have a 'bangin' booty'...
Anywho, enough about my booty.
This week I am going to dedicate myself to a perfect week. I will exercise 4 days this week, I will do this even if it snows and I am housebound. I have a HUGE struggle working out at home, I'm a person who needs the gym, no distractions to do anything else but exercise. I need to figure this one out and stick to it.
I'm trying really hard not to be down on myself about this low number, I mean, after all, I still lost something, I just really wish it was more.
I cannot wait to feel more comfortable with my physical self. I want this so bad. I'm so sick of being fat and ashamed.
Tomorrow, I will have another successful day. I will eat mindfully, and I will exercise and work hard to get the body I dream of.
Love to all of you ladies!!
xoxo - Gallant
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Hey Winter, F U !!
Today left something to be desired. Being pelted with ice rain first thing this morning while trying to dig out my car from yet ANOTHER snow fall did not help start the day a good note, that's for sure.
Work has been really draining, soul sucking if I may, which always makes me want to eat like crap. But I didn't! I was a good girl all day...then I made oven baked sweet potato fries for myself for dinner, I ate too many of them and now I have a belly ache...I haven't been this kind of full/uncomfortable since I started WW, and I have to say, I didn't miss it! Oh well, lesson learned, and at least I still stayed within my points.
Since the weather was so horrible, and after chipping my car out the solid block of ice that froze around it while I was at work, all while in the pooring, freezing rain, oh, did I mention I forgot my gloves?! Yeah, FML today, that was the general mantra. I opted to not go to the gym tonight, I just could not face another bought of scraping off my car, being freezing cold and dealing wih frozen windsheild wipers...I just couldn't do it!
Good news, tomorrow it's not supposed to snow, a little bit of rain, I can handle that!
So tonight, I am going to meditate on a better happier tomorrow, I am going to sleep peacefully and wake up feeling Gallant.
Peace, love, and WARMTH to you all!!
Work has been really draining, soul sucking if I may, which always makes me want to eat like crap. But I didn't! I was a good girl all day...then I made oven baked sweet potato fries for myself for dinner, I ate too many of them and now I have a belly ache...I haven't been this kind of full/uncomfortable since I started WW, and I have to say, I didn't miss it! Oh well, lesson learned, and at least I still stayed within my points.
Since the weather was so horrible, and after chipping my car out the solid block of ice that froze around it while I was at work, all while in the pooring, freezing rain, oh, did I mention I forgot my gloves?! Yeah, FML today, that was the general mantra. I opted to not go to the gym tonight, I just could not face another bought of scraping off my car, being freezing cold and dealing wih frozen windsheild wipers...I just couldn't do it!
Good news, tomorrow it's not supposed to snow, a little bit of rain, I can handle that!
So tonight, I am going to meditate on a better happier tomorrow, I am going to sleep peacefully and wake up feeling Gallant.
Peace, love, and WARMTH to you all!!
Monday, January 17, 2011
UREKA
I made a Thai Chili tonight, for my lunch for the rest of the week, and it is SO good! It's 8 points per serving, but SO worth it because it's going to keep me full for a LONG time. I walked to the vending machine at work today 3 times for a snack, dollar in hand...and each time I turned around, leaving empty handed. Deciding I didn't really need a snack, I just wanted a distraction from what I was doing. UREKA!
My husband and I finished cleaning the house today after work. Got done at 7:00...Well, I stopped at 6:30 to start dinner, which thankfully I had some frozen taco fixins for him, and I grilled up some shrimp for myself and we had a left over taco night.
I'm feeling good today, satisfied and calm, a good place to be. I'm of course nervous about my weigh in this week, I'm not sure if that will ever go away. I have an insane fear of stepping on the scale and somehow gaining weight. Stupid I know, but it haunts me.
So here's to a healthy tomorrow!! Hopefully I can go to the gym, weather permitting, I'll be able to get a class in.
xoxo -Gallant
My husband and I finished cleaning the house today after work. Got done at 7:00...Well, I stopped at 6:30 to start dinner, which thankfully I had some frozen taco fixins for him, and I grilled up some shrimp for myself and we had a left over taco night.
I'm feeling good today, satisfied and calm, a good place to be. I'm of course nervous about my weigh in this week, I'm not sure if that will ever go away. I have an insane fear of stepping on the scale and somehow gaining weight. Stupid I know, but it haunts me.
So here's to a healthy tomorrow!! Hopefully I can go to the gym, weather permitting, I'll be able to get a class in.
xoxo -Gallant
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Ooops! I forgot to blog!
How am I so busy on my one day off a week I can't manage to remember to blog? Holy cow that day FLEW by, and now I sit here getting mentally ready for Monday. My Sunday job is easy breezy, it's the Monday - Friday one that has me on the verge of losing my mind most days.
So there's not much to say, other than I need to figure out how to clean my house, have a day off, and NOT have it happen on the same day. I am a lady who needs a day off, to do nothing, to watch stupid movies, maybe shop, go out to eat, just chill. For the last few months this has not happened, AT ALL! So, here's my plan since I can afford a maid. My husband and I will clean our house top to bottom, Monday's after work. I know, this makes Monday even worse than before, BUT, it's the one day I never have social plans, I don't want to go to the gym, I've shopped for food, everything else is a-ok. So, I'll let you know how this goes...I hope it's good, because I'm in dire need for some downtime.
Today at work I had my yummy cheese sandwich and cookie :) Oh how I love Sunday's, just for that!! I made fish tacos for dinner, yummmmmy too!
So no workout tomorrow, but I'm sure my housework will burn some calories, considering the amount of dog hair tumble weeds are rolling around right now! I will of course continue to track what I eat and make smart choices.
I love you ladies, I think you are all amazing, powerful, witty, hilarious, inspiring women, and I COULD NOT DO THIS WITHOUT YOU!
xoxoxooxooxxoxoxo ~ Gallant
So there's not much to say, other than I need to figure out how to clean my house, have a day off, and NOT have it happen on the same day. I am a lady who needs a day off, to do nothing, to watch stupid movies, maybe shop, go out to eat, just chill. For the last few months this has not happened, AT ALL! So, here's my plan since I can afford a maid. My husband and I will clean our house top to bottom, Monday's after work. I know, this makes Monday even worse than before, BUT, it's the one day I never have social plans, I don't want to go to the gym, I've shopped for food, everything else is a-ok. So, I'll let you know how this goes...I hope it's good, because I'm in dire need for some downtime.
Today at work I had my yummy cheese sandwich and cookie :) Oh how I love Sunday's, just for that!! I made fish tacos for dinner, yummmmmy too!
So no workout tomorrow, but I'm sure my housework will burn some calories, considering the amount of dog hair tumble weeds are rolling around right now! I will of course continue to track what I eat and make smart choices.
I love you ladies, I think you are all amazing, powerful, witty, hilarious, inspiring women, and I COULD NOT DO THIS WITHOUT YOU!
xoxoxooxooxxoxoxo ~ Gallant
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